What Happens when you hold a grudge?
Well, we all go through these phases where we start to hold grudges and negative feelings towards others. No one really knows how and what to do with such problems, do they hold on to their right or let go and forgive? Our morality tends to vote for forgiveness, we’ll give more reasons to why you really shouldn’t hold grudges for your own sake.
But first, why do we hold grudges?
We do, because we are basically hurt by others. Our vulnerability towards others gives their actions (intended or not) the chance to hurt us, anger us, or make us simply sad. What usually happens is that we tend to give negative feelings access to start a foundation for more destructive negative feelings. When we keep on recalling these feelings and events, we end up unable to move on.
How does a grudge hurt you?
Holding grudges evidently affects our mental health. It has been associated to anxiety stress and depression. After all, think about this, holding grudges is all about recalling a negative feeling or a negative event. Hence, it is simply going to affect you perceptions and will definitely make you feel bitter, giving access to various negative feeling to prosper.
The act of dwelling on an intended or unintended event, word, or action is one of the things that will hinder your ability to move on in a relationship/friendship. As a matter of fact, you might be destroying a very nice relationship just because you are under the illusion that people hurt you intentionally. The negativity grows with a grudge.
It is healthier in many ways to forgive rather than hold a grudge. Think of this, anger affects blood pressure, and being psychologically and mentally unwell affects your immunity. Hence, people who hold grudges are found to suffer from hypertension and a weak immune system. Their ability to fight diseases is actually less than those who simply let things go.
So what should you do?
You will need to learn to forgive others, understand that things may not always be intentional. As a matter of fact, people are moving in a fast pace, and barely pay any attention to what they say or do, resulting in misunderstandings that may lead others to hold grudges against them. Confront others if they’ve said something that hurt you. Voice your opinion against their attitude or actions.